Catching Great Views… and Feelings: How to plan the perfect day hike to deepen relationships with friends and romantic partners
This is part of our Best Day Hike Recipe Series. See more in this series here *INSERT LINK*
We all hike for different reasons. Some do it for physical fitness, others to catch pretty views, yet others do it to catch feelings for your hiking partners. Most hiking guidebooks are structured similarly, organized by location, difficulty, and distance. Unless you’re already a seasoned hiker, it’s often hard to tell which difficulty, distance, and most importantly, the flow of the hike will help you deepen relationships. Let us show you an easy way to do just that.
First, let’s break it down by ingredients :
THE MAGIC THAT CONNECTS US
There’s something magically connecting about traveling in the same direction, toward a common goal, isn’t there? When we walk together side-by-side, outside the tired rhythms of urban life and in the presence of the grandness of nature, we are reminded of our shared humanity. In those moments when we are sweating up a steep hill or admiring the sea of green atop a summit, we bond as humans. Our perspectives broaden, our held opinions loosen, and our minds’ ears and eyes open for one another. Deep, meaningful relationships are formed.
RECIPE FOR MAGIC
So how do we make that magic happen? In my decade + of designing and guiding trips, I’ve learned that there are ingredients and formulae for creating that magic that connects us in nature. The secret is to use the ebbs and flow of our physical exertion as a way to excite and calm our nervous systems. In doing so, we prime our nervous systems for connection. Here’s our recipe:
Open with an intention. Just before you start hiking with your date / friends, gather everyone and stand closely, facing one another (in a circle). Have a moment together where you can choose to ask a simple question like “Let’s name 3 feelings we each would love to experience during this hike.” and/or look into everyone’s eyes and acknowledge that we are going on a hike, together. It can be awkward the first time you try it, and it makes such a big difference in how we connect throughout the hike.
Make the first part of the day a physical challenge. Discomfort, I’ve learned, is a prerequisite to growth and connection. Tackling a challenge as a team, such as climbing a steep hill on “all-fours” can provide a shared sense of accomplishment.
Rest and nourish toward the middle of your hike. Get to a pretty lake, a summit, a meadow, or anywhere where you can see far away, and chill out! Take out your snacks or better yet, prepare a surprise picnic complete with picnic blanket and cloth napkins to impress your date or friends. When we rest our legs and our eyes soften to admire the distant vista, our hearts grow gentler. Consider encouraging a reflective moment such as asking a connection question to your tripmate(s) like “What’s something you wish others understood better about you?” Got time? Take a nap. Meditate. Journal.
(optional)Add another physical challenge 3-quarters in. End with a reward. When you complete your hike and return to the trailhead parking lot, surprise your date/friends with a cooler of icy (or hot) beverages and maybe even ice cream. Do a closing like you opened with your intention. Ask everyone to recall the feelings that came up for them during the hike and acknowledge them with openness and non-judgment.
Here are a few options for local day hikes to build relationships in the Bay Area: